That Ain't Funny

Last night, my neighborhood was crawling with children - and adults - dressed up for trick-or-treating. Marin loved last year's costume too much to part with it and opted to wear it again. We met up with friends - for me, Corene, Lisa, Jill, Gaelle, which meant Marin got to go door to door with some of her favorite people - Aaron, Liam, Ellory, and Sophia and more. Halloween is by far my favorite holiday because it offers the most joy completely stress free. Christmas is nice, but there are so many expectations attached to it that Halloween has moved front and center in our family. Watching Marin, in costume, race from house to house with her friends is in my top ten favorite parenting activities and I hope to never be the one stuck home handing out candy, but I know I'm going to have to let Jon have a turn one of these times.

Jon, however, was having some fun of his own. About 5:30, right as Marin and Aaron were playing outside ready to get their costumes on, he asked me "How diabolical can I be?" I knew he wasn't really asking; he was planning. Considering our front porch was already a scary scape with a backlit ghost who waves his arms in desperation, two skeletons whose heads turn - both set off by a motion detector - three flying skeletons rigged to the ceiling, a fog machine and a strobe light, (see pictures below) I paused before opening my mouth. I love all the disgusting trappings of Halloween, but I don't like scaring small children. My own child was, until this year, terrified of spooky houses and I didn't really want to have "that house" for other kids. Too late for that, though; Jon's mad scientist brain was activated and within seconds he was hanging a black curtain in the corner of our porch, right next to the door bell. He hid behind it and then asked me to have Marin and Aaron test his idea. I called them to the door, and they trustingly came racing from the yard. Aaron rang the doorbell and Jon's hand shot out with the candy bucket as he yelled "Boo!" Aaron jumped then burst into giggles and shouted "You tricked me!" Aaron, it's important to note, is fearless, but Jon took that as "it's not THAT scary."

When we returned from trick-or-treating a few hours later, Jon was still behind the curtain. He succeeded in frightening most of the neighborhood children and nearly got punched in the process. At one point, he heard a bunch of kids and a dad approach the porch. The kids were nervous about walking up to the door after seeing the skeletons turn their heads round and round, but the dad said "It's ok, kids. See?" And he kissed the skeletons cheeks and played with the ghost to show them how fake it all was. "I'll ring the doorbell for you." He reached out his hand towards the bell just as Jon's hand inched out from behind the curtain and grabbed his wrist. The enormous hulking man screamed like a little girl yelping "oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, easy kids!" He shot to the edge of the porch, arms out protecting the children. Jon came out and the man stepped forward, fist curled. "That ain't funny." He quipped just as a grin spread over his face, more from relief than humor, thankful that it was just a sick prank. The next victim was another man with a family who also heroically sacrificed himself to ring our doorbell. Jon didn't grab his wrist, though. Instead, he slowly slid the candy bucket out mid-air, giving it a floating look. Then he yelled "Gotcha!" The man said "&%$#! &*%$! OH &^%$! OH &*%$!" with his kids listening. When Jon came out, the man started laughing and shook Jon's hand. "That was good, man. That was good."

Our neighbor Nate told us that people would go to his house after ours and ask him "What's going on at that house?" pointing to ours. (meaning: what kind of neighbors do you have, exactly?)

Who had the most fun last night? Marin, collecting candy, racing around the neighborhood with her beloved friends, coming home to organize and categorize her candy, getting to stay up late? Me, walking with my friends, soaking up my child's joy, then having a little post gathering with the girls over a glass of champagne? Or Jon, creating false horrors while hiding behind a curtain drinking beer and making grown men practically wet their pants? I'd say it was a three way tie, perfect for each of our personalities.